


I'm Covered By Nature and I'm Safe Now

by sunshinexbomb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Louis Being Sad, M/M, Protective!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-19
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 15:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/516774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After growing up with four younger sisters, over-protectiveness becomes second nature to Louis.</p><p>(or four times louis is protective, one time he won't let anyone protect him, and one time he does)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Covered By Nature and I'm Safe Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heliotropelied](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliotropelied/gifts).



> Zafreen wanted Nouis and I had started this a while ago so I decided to finally finish it. I think she's mad at me though. Oh well :)!
> 
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own :)

After growing up with four younger sisters, over-protectiveness becomes second nature to Louis. He spends most of his life fighting monsters in the closet, chasing away nightmares, and threatening boys who seem a little too much like himself for their own good. 

When Louis’s put into One Direction, by some odd twist of faith, he again finds himself as the oldest of five. Even though the other boys are so close to his age, Louis feels an odd urge to protect them from the things that want to break them. 

Louis’s main weapon of choice is laughter. He makes people forget their troubles by being fun and goofy and saying silly things. His childish behavior is used as a way to lift people’s spirits.

Surprising as it may seem at times, Louis does know his boundaries. He realizes that sometimes people aren’t in the mood to laugh and that his jokes and stupid comments only make things worse. Those are the times Louis wraps an arm around his friends or crawls into their laps and just holds them because sometimes that’s all they need.

Louis is ridiculously observant. He notices just about everything that’s happening around him. He knows exactly when people need him, which honestly seems like all the time. 

\---

Everyone knows that Zayn has a habit of falling asleep, well, everywhere. But what the boys keep from the press and from the fans are the nightmares that sometimes keep Zayn from sleeping comfortably.

They start during One Direction’s first international tour. Louis’s extremely hyped up at the prospect of being in a different country and playing for new fans but also terribly misses being away from his home and his family. 

The others are in the same position and nobody wants to sleep on their own that night in the hotel. Management rents out almost the entire floor, but most of the rooms remain empty as everyone piles into Louis and Harry’s room.

The night’s spent playing video games and watching movies and making fun of weird foreign sitcoms that none of them understand. They all reluctantly turn in only after Liam mentions that they have a long day ahead of them.

Sleeping arrangements are a bitch to figure out, but after a small tussle between Louis and Liam – which Louis loses – they’re all settled. Harry and Liam end up a tangle of limbs and sheets as they cuddle comfortably in Harry’s bed. Niall sprawls all over Louis’s bed, claiming it as his own. He mutters something about how he has a tendency to kick in his sleep and he’s only benefiting everyone by sleeping by himself (Louis rolls his eyes at this; he knows from their days at the bungalow that it isn’t true, but he lets Niall have his way). 

Zayn and Louis curl up in the small space between the two twin beds. There’s a couch on the far side of the room, but honestly neither of them want to be alone. The area really isn’t meant to be slept in by two teenage boys, but both Louis and Zayn are always up for a good cuddle.

Louis doesn’t realize how tired he is and falls asleep almost immediately. It’s not long though before he’s woken up in the middle of the night by Zayn thrashing around in his sleep. 

Zayn’s face is set in a frown and there are beads of sweat forming on his crinkled forehead. He rolls to the side, nearly smacking Louis in the face and then promptly rolls over to his other side. Louis immediately recognizes the signs and realizes that Zayn is having a nightmare.

Quickly Louis shakes Zayn, softly calling his name until the sleeping boy awakes with a loud gasp. Niall shuffles a little on his bed, but otherwise the others are completely undisturbed. Zayn breathes heavily, slightly shaking, and Louis pulls him into his chest before he can say anything. 

The two of them lay back down, Zayn clutching the front of Louis’s t-shirt tightly in his fists. Louis runs a hand through Zayn’s hair and slowly rubs comforting circles on his back. 

“Hey,” he whispers quietly, “it’s okay, babe. It’s just a dream. Whatever it was, it’s not real. It’ll all be okay, I’m here for you.” 

Eventually Zayn’s breathing slows down but he still snuggles deeper into Louis’s chest, hugging him tightly. “Sorry for waking you, Lou. God, I hate these stupid nightmares. They happen all the fucking time. Getting pretty sick of them, honestly.” 

“It’s okay, Zaynie,” Louis says quietly with a laugh, and even though he can’t seem him in the dark, he knows Zayn is crinkling his nose at the nickname, “I’ll always be here for you. I’ll chase away all the nightmares.”

Louis strengthens his embrace and as he watches Zayn fall back asleep, he feels a deep lurch in the pit of his stomach because he’s reminded of the nights when Lottie would crawl into his bed in the middle of the night, crying. This isn’t the first night he’s had to chase away someone’s nightmares and he knows it probably won’t be the last.

\---

Sometimes Louis forgets that Harry is the youngest of the five. His cheeky comments and general self-confidence make him seem so much older than just nineteen. In all honesty, Harry is still sort of a child. 

Even though Harry’s part of a band who has recorded two number one albums, topped the charts in multiple countries, and has performed in events as big as the Olympics, it doesn’t take much to kill his bravado.

Harry’s learned by now that it’s a bad idea to Google himself or look through his tag on Tumblr or search his name on Twitter, but Louis knows that sometimes he just can’t help himself. Usually things turn out fine and there’s just lots of posts about teenage girls wanting to have his babies, but sometimes after a bad show or a performance where he was off his game, the comments get nasty. 

There’s a night in Boston where all the boys are a bit off. The tour’s coming to an end and they’re all tired and cranky and just want to go home. 

After returning from the show, Harry promptly goes on Twitter, and then for the rest of the night he’s quiet and sullen. Niall and Liam and Zayn share worried looks but don’t really know what to do to make Harry feel better. He’s always a bit unapproachable in moments like this, and even now they’re not really sure how to deal with him.

After returning to the hotel, everyone goes off to their rooms. No one’s in the mood to stay up or go out and instead they all just turn in early. Louis and Harry are sharing a room and they go in quietly, taking turns showering and freshening up after the show.

After Harry gets into bed, Louis turns off the lights and snuggles under the sheets, trying to go to sleep. Sometime during the middle of the night, just as Louis’s drifting off, Harry crawls into his bed with tears in eyes.

The sleepy feeling clouding Louis’s mind immediately disappears and instead he just feels his heart ache just like every time he sees Harry upset. He wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and just holds him while Harry repeats all the things he read about himself online. Louis sighs quietly and wipes away Harry’s tears with the pads of his thumbs and then whispers in his ear.

“Hey, babe, you know it’s okay. There’s millions of fans who love you. And even if they all disappear, we will always love you and your family will always, always, love you and you know that’s really all that matters.” 

Harry nods and sniffles, the tears still falling slowly down his face. Louis makes some stupid joke and Harry laughs shakily, snuggling his nose into the crook of Louis’s neck. Louis kisses his forehead lightly like he would do to one of his sisters after they’ve had a bad day at school.

“Thanks, Lou. I love you too. Always have, always will.”

After a while, Louis can feel Harry’s breathing slow and soon he’s asleep in Louis’s arms. Louis on the other hand has trouble drifting because because he’s struck by how young Harry still is. He wishes there was some way to keep Harry from hurting, and he wants to just put Harry in a box where nothing bad can ever happen and he can just watch him live happily. 

It almost pains Louis to know that there are some things that he can’t protect Harry from. He can hold Harry and comfort him but the pain will always find a way to come back.

\---

Over the past few years, Liam’s learned to loosen up a bit. Louis still remembers how serious he was when they first started on the X-Factor and how that carried over to their first days on the road. 

It takes a while, but Liam learns to let management deal with all the little things that keep One Direction functioning on a day to day basis.

Even then, Liam can’t fully relax. He still has to play “Daddy Direction” and keep the boys in line. Louis appreciates the sentiment and admits that sometimes it’s nice to have someone who’s not Paul or Simon or the record company keeping them from screwing up, but Liam still needs to just chill out at times.

The worst are days that Liam becomes overstressed and feels overworked and comes so close to breaking. 

When they’re back in Australia promoting their second album, Zayn and Harry go out clubbing one night after their show. They sneak out of the hotel and then call Liam during the middle of the night in a drunken stupor.

Liam calls Paul and Zayn and Harry are immediately brought back to the hotel.

It’s not hard to tell that Liam is on edge. The lines around his mouth tighten every time Zayn or Harry come near him and his brows seem to permanently furrow into a scowl. He used to lecture the boys on their mistakes, but this time he just takes on the habit of sitting in stony silence.

No one’s even sure why Liam is so mad. This kind of stuff happens all the time. It’s happened before, and they know it’s going to happen again. But this time it’s different, and Liam’s mood sets everyone off.

Usually Zayn is the one that keeps Liam from crazy. He’ll pull Liam into some room as far away as possible from the other boys and talk to him until he’s calmed down. The two of them have a connection that Louis’s always envied because he wants to be the one helping Liam, but Zayn’s so much better at it than he is. Sometimes all Zayn has to do is give Liam a certain look or a touch on the inside of his wrist and Liam will realize that he’s taking things too seriously and needs to ease up. 

Then there are times like this where Zayn is the reason Liam is angry, and Louis takes his opportunity to help out. 

Liam has a tendency to separate himself from everyone else when he’s stressed, so Louis’s not surprised to find him on his own in his hotel room. He’s sitting on the couch, facing away from the door, totally engrossed in his laptop.

Louis takes the opportunity to sneak up behind Liam and start rubbing his shoulders slowly and carefully. Liam tenses for a second in surprise, but then relaxes and leans into Louis’s touch with a quiet moan. 

Louis spends an hour kneading all the knots out of Liam’s neck and shoulders. He talks about meaningless things and watches the stress slide off of Liam until he’s calm and smiling again.

“I really wish you didn’t take so much onto yourself, Li. You should not be this tense at twenty. Let other people take care of all the worrying,” Louis says, taking a seat next to Liam and throwing an arm over his shoulders.

Liam wraps his arms around Louis, wrapping himself around him and says, “I know, Lou. It’s just, I can’t help it sometimes, I guess? I try to relax, I just can’t.” 

“Well, we still have time to work on that,” Louis says, and he places a big sloppy kiss to Liam’s cheek. Liam laughs and his eyes crinkle until they almost disappear as he wipes Louis’s spit from his face. Louis takes a minute to appreciate the joy in Liam’s expression and wishes that he could look like this all the time.

\---

More than anything, Louis feels an unexplainable urge to protect Niall. Niall’s carefree attitude and his endearing nature give him a sense of innocence that Louis wants desperately to protect. 

There’s nothing worse than seeing Niall upset or crying. Every time Niall feels homesick or overwhelmed, Louis feels his chest tighten and all he wants to do is cuddle Niall to his chest and never let him go. 

Louis’s always comforted Niall through laughter. He loves Niall’s booming laughs and his high pitched giggles and he especially loves those moments when Niall’s laughing so hard that he’s just making tiny gasping noises because he’s having trouble breathing.

Louis loves making people laugh in general, but there’s something special about making Niall laugh. Whenever Niall breaks into giggles, his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up, Louis feels this fluttery feeling in his stomach and he can’t help the smug grin that appears on his face. 

Not much gets to Niall, and usually the only thing that gets him down are his sudden, unexplainable bouts of homesickness. Louis’s pretty much become expert at helping Niall in that situation. All it takes is a bit of cuddling and stupid jokes in a ridiculously bad Irish accent and Niall is back to his usual self.

What’s harder to handle is when Niall falls victim to his own fears and anxieties. As One Direction gets bigger, Niall becomes more used to being in the middle of large crowds of people and his claustrophobia lessens. But there are days when the mobs of screaming fans are a bit too loud or a bit too frantic and Louis knows those are the days that Niall has trouble taking it all in. 

The day Niall and Liam get mobbed in Times Square by a group of unexpected fans is one that will always fill Louis with worry and he’ll never forget the moment Niall walks into their shared hotel room, eyes blown wide and body shaking. 

Niall doesn’t even make it all the way to the bed and instead just slides down, his back to the closed door, until he reaches the floor. Louis can feel his own heart beating ridiculously fast as Niall draws his knees to his chest and lays his head down on his crossed arms. 

“Oh my God, Nialler. Are you okay? What the hell happened?” Louis jumps up from his bed and crosses the small hotel room, taking a seat next to Niall.

Niall’s breathing is heavy and he’s still shivering a little when he shakes his head. Louis’s eyes soften and he wants so badly to reach out and put an arm around Niall but he knows from experience that the younger boy will just stiffen and then shy away from his touch. 

Louis hates it when this happens because there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it. Niall won’t let anyone touch him until he’s calmed down and it’s not the kind of thing Louis can fix with corny jokes or comforting whispers. 

So instead Louis simply sits next to Niall, his heart aching at his own uselessness. Niall stays in the same position for almost fifteen minutes before his breathing slows and his body goes still. It’s then that Louis hesitantly reaches out and starts to rub Niall’s back softly and slowly. 

Niall lifts his head and leans back into Louis’s touch. Louis breathes out a sigh of relief and rubs with a firmer touch.

“There were so many people, Lou,” Niall says quietly after a while, “and they just came out of nowhere. I wasn’t expecting it – I just – “

“Shh,” Louis interrupts, “it’s okay, Niall. It’s over now. It’s just you and me now. Just us. No one else.” Louis stops rubbing Niall’s back and instead wraps his arm around Niall’s waist, pulling him so close that he’s practically sitting in Louis’s lap. 

Niall buries his face into the crook of Louis’s neck and Louis holds back shivers as he feels Niall’s warm breath on his skin. Louis feels an unexplainable urge to be closer to Niall. He wants to lift Niall’s face up and lock their lips and kiss away any remaining anxieties Niall might have. He wants to tangle his fingers in the short hairs on the back of Niall’s neck and wrap his legs around him until it’s hard to tell where Louis begins and Niall ends. 

Louis’s had these feelings before but he’s always pushed them away because, no, Niall doesn’t need that. Niall needs someone to hold him and comfort him, not someone to surprise him with a kiss when he’s still in a vulnerable state. 

So Louis continues to hold Niall close to him and wishes there was a time where it was right to surprise him with a kiss. 

\---

The thing with Louis is though, as much as he likes protecting people, he hates being protected. When things are bothering him, Louis shuts himself off. He keeps away from his friends and his family and hides behind locked doors. 

After going out for a year and a half, Louis and Eleanor break up. Eleanor can’t stand the distance and the constant travelling and the hate from overzealous fans. Louis knows they’ve been growing apart for a while now, but it still hurts because despite what many people believed, he really, truly was in love with Eleanor. 

Louis tries to go through life as normal. He plays shows and he lets the exhilaration of being on stage in front of thousands of people consume him. He does interviews where he answers questions about his break-up with a forced smile on his face, trying to convince fans that it was a mutual decision and that he and Eleanor would remain friends. 

But once Louis is away from the eyes of the public, he shuts himself off from everyone else. He locks himself in his hotel room or hides behind the curtains of his bunk on the tour bus. Louis can’t stand everyone’s sympathetic stares or sad half-smiles.

The boys try to cheer him up, because they’re the boys and that’s what they do. But Louis is anything but cooperative. He refuses their requests to go out and avoids being in the same room with other people for too long. 

A few weeks after the break-up, they all get a break and head back to London. Louis goes through the painful process of moving his stuff out of Eleanor’s flat (and when did all that stuff get there, anyway? He doesn’t remember spending all that much time there) and back into his own. The process makes him realize that they really truly are over and it just saddens him more.

Away from the tour and away from the band it’s a lot easier for Louis to shut himself out. He ignores calls from his mother and from Lottie and Harry and the rest of the boys. He spends days upon days locked in his flat and he’s so glad that him and Harry decided to get separate places because he really can’t stand to be around other people.

For two weeks Louis sits at home and he drinks and sometimes he smokes and he ignores calls and texts and the ringing of his doorbell. He wallows in his own self-pity, because he’s Louis and that’s what he does when he’s sad. Louis hates other people seeing him like this because he’s supposed to be the strong one, the protector. 

When it’s time to go back on tour, Louis sobers up and it feels like the alcohol has cleansed Eleanor from his system. It still hurts, but not as much before. He laughs again and he jokes around again and he talks to the boys again. Sometimes he still feels down, but he lets people cuddle him and for the most part he’s fine. Louis knows how to take care of himself, how to fix himself. He doesn’t need to be protected. He’s fine handling everything on his own.

\---

By the time they’re back in Australia for the World Tour, Louis’s more or less back to normal. He’s not completely over Eleanor, but he understands that maybe the split was for the best, and he focuses his energy on interviews and shows and photoshoots. 

The boys take advantage of his steady change of behavior. They all go out more, and cuddle more, and just generally spend more time together. Being in Australia is the best because they have a few days off before they actually start touring, and Louis and Liam go to the beach almost every day to surf. 

A couple of days after they arrive, all of them decide to go to the beach together. Him and Liam are the only ones surfing, but it’s still nice to spend some together when they’re away from the fans and the pressures of performing and keeping up appearances. 

Around noon, when the sun is highest, Louis gets out of the water and onto the beach. Liam goes to join Zayn and Harry where they’re undertaking a project to build the world’s best sandcastle (and honestly it looks more like a sandpile but they insist it’s a castle - no a manor, complete with moats and everything) and Louis goes to join Niall where he’s lying in the sun.

Niall’s lying on his stomach, back to the beating sun, and Louis can see his sensitive skin reddening in the heat. Normally Louis would take this opportunity to be a prick and give Niall a hearty slap to the back, fully knowing that it would hurt like hell because of the slowly-forming sunburn, but instead he takes pity and grabs the bottle of suntan lotion out of the bag abandoned by Niall's side. 

“I think it’s time for some more sunscreen, Nialler,” Louis says, straddling Niall’s hips and plopping down on top of him. He laughs as Niall lets out an exaggerated groan at the sudden weight and squirts a generous amount of lotion into his palms. 

Louis slowly rubs the lotion into Niall’s back, making sure to spread it smoothly and evenly. 

“Thanks, Lou,” Niall sighs and Louis replies with a small hum. 

He sits there for a while, simply feeling Niall’s soft skin under his fingertips. He runs his palms down his spine and applies more lotion in the small of Niall’s back where it dips down slightly. 

This small favor is really the least Louis could do; Niall’s been good to him the past few months. Louis has seriously appreciated the way that Niall’s given him space when he’s needed it and comfort when he’s asked for it. Niall was always available to talk to or cuddle with or just simply be there with him in a way no one, not even Harry, was. 

Louis’s always had this thing with Niall like he knows what Niall’s thinking or what he’s about to do before he actually does it, and he knows that Niall’s felt that too. It makes it hard to keep things from Niall, but it also makes Louis glad that he never has to explain what he’s thinking or feeling - Niall just knows. 

When Louis’s done spreading out the lotion, he shifts off of Niall, and takes a seat by his side on the sand. Niall gets up too, stretching out his stiff limbs, and Louis can’t help but notice the way the muscles in his back shift under his lotioned skin. 

Niall sits next to Louis, pressing against his arms and chest, skin sticky with salt and sea and suntan lotion. Louis wraps one arm around Niall’s shoulders and casually starts running his fingers through the short hairs in the back of his neck without really thinking about it. Niall leans into him farther and Louis can’t help but smile because sitting there with Niall just feels _right_.

He’s gotten this feeling before, a sort of calm that rushes over him because of Niall. It’s always sort of confused him because no one else really has that effect on him. But then again, Niall sort of confused him in general sometimes. 

As much as Louis understood Niall, he never really understood how he _felt_ about Niall. There were the feelings of protectiveness, but he felt that with everyone. It’s just sometimes those feelings extended a bit when it came to Niall. He never got the sudden urge to kiss any of the other boys or to hold them so tight it was like he was never going to let go. That was only with Niall.

Louis never acted on his feelings. There was always Eleanor and the band and all these things keeping them apart. He didn’t even know if Niall felt the same way. But moments like this when him and Niall were snuggled up close, Louis felt complete, and somehow he could tell Niall felt like that too.

\---

Him and Niall share a room in the hotel that night. They fall asleep on the same bed, curled up around one another while they laugh at some weird pretentious indie film on the telly that Zayn or Harry probably would’ve loved.

Louis wakes up in the middle of the night with Niall elbowing him in the stomach and grumbling out something about his mobile ringing. Sure enough, his phone is lighting up on the bedside table, and Louis frowns as Niall snuggles back under the comforter, drifting easily into sleep. 

It’s two o’clock and there’s really no reason anyone should be calling him, but Lottie’s name is flashing on the screen so he goes ahead and answers it.

Before he can say anything, Lottie’s sobbing into the phone, and he can barely understand what she’s saying. Louis makes comforting noises into the receiver, waiting until his sister’s calmed down enough to tell him what happened. 

Niall’s up again at this point, wakened by Lottie’s shouts from thousands of miles away. He’s staring up at Louis, moonlight from the slightly parted curtains reflecting off his big blue eyes as Lottie explains that _mum’s in the hospital and they don’t know what’s wrong but it’s bad real bad and Louis can you please come home you need to come home_.

Louis freezes for a minute, but it’s just a minute, and then he’s back at it, telling Lottie that it’ll all be okay and of course he’ll come home, he’ll come home right away. 

When he hangs up the phone, his hands are shaking and his breathing is coming out short and shallow. Louis looks at Niall and before he can say anything, Niall’s wrapping his arms around him and pulling him back down onto the bed. Niall strokes his hair and Louis wraps his fingers tightly around the soft cotton of Niall’s t-shirt. There are big, huge sobs wracking through Louis’s body and he lays there and he cries, cries the way he didn’t when Eleanor broke up with him, and Niall holds him through the night until he’s able to pull himself back together. 

\---

After gaining some composure, Louis wakes up Paul and explains to him what’s happened. They book him the first flight back to London and by the time the sun is rising he’s packed and ready to go. 

Niall wakes up Liam and Zayn and Harry and their concern overpowers their sleepiness as they wait in Louis’s room for the car that’s going to be taking him to the airport. They all squish onto the bed Louis and Niall were sharing earlier, and it’s oddly quiet. Louis’s still clutching onto Niall like he was after the phone call, and he can feel the rise and fall of Niall’s chest and the warm breath brushing over the top of his head as Niall rubs comforting circles into his skin. 

Louis feels like he’s sitting in that room for ages before Paul comes knocking at the door, telling him the car's arrived. The boys all follow him outside, Niall clutching onto the hand Louis's not using to carry his duffle bag. They all give him big hugs and whispered encouragements before he leaves. Niall gives him the biggest hug, wrapping himself around Louis fully like he’s afraid of what’ll happen if he’s not as close as physically possible. He gives Louis a kiss to the corner of his mouth before he gets in the car, and Louis leaves for the airport feeling nothing but intense worry and the touch of Niall’s lips against his skin.

\---

Not for the first time, One Direction tries to make due with only four members. Louis spends a couple of weeks in Doncaster, sitting at his mum’s bedside and taking care of his sisters at home. The boys continue with their tour, tweeting and texting Louis whenever they get the chance. 

Niall gives him a ring almost every night before he goes to bed, regardless of the time difference, and Louis appreciates it because hearing Niall’s voice takes the edge off just a little. It’s one of the small comforts he feels during that time.

The doctors are still having trouble figuring out what’s wrong with Jay, and the longer she’s in the hospital, the more worried Louis gets. But he still tries to keep strong, tries to put up a brave face because he knows his sisters and his step-dad are just as bad off as he is. 

When Jay’s given a cocktail of antibotics which seem to get her back on her feet long enough to go home, Louis goes back to the boys. He stays another a week to make sure everyone is settled at home and that Jay is okay, but he knows he has to get back.

Louis returns with a week left in the Australian leg of their tour. The boys greet him with big hugs and lots of _I've missed you's_ and _it hasn't been the same without you, Lou's_. 

He's still worried about his mom and how Lottie and the other girls are holding up, and he spends a lot of time texting them and calling them to make sure everything is okay. Basically every free moment Louis has, he's calling back home. It's hard being so far away knowing that anything can happen. 

For the most part, everyone gives Louis his space. They try not to overwhelm him and instead lets him approach them if he needs to. Only Niall ignores Louis's obvious "keep away" vibes and spends practically every second with him that he can. 

Honestly, it bothers Louis at first because he just wants to lock himself away like he did during his breakup with Eleanor, but he can't because every time he tries, Niall is there. Louis's already let Niall see that vulnerable side of him once and he really doesn't want to reveal it again. 

Last day of tour, Louis manages to give Niall the slip and lock himself in his hotel room. He's just changed out of his concert clothes and into a pair of track pants and a t-shirt and grabbed a beer out of the minibar when there's a knock at the door. Louis groans, deciding to ignore it in hopes that whoever it is will go away if he doesn't answer. The knocking stops after a while and Louis lets out a content Sigh and takes another sip of beer. Couple minutes later, they start up again, louder this time.

"Jesus," Louis mutters, finally getting up and answering the door once he hears Niall's voice calling his name, "can't I get a moment of peace, Niall?"

"Nope," Niall says with a cheeky smile, practically prancing into the room and casually plopping down onto Louis's bed. 

Louis scowls as Niall makes himself comfortable, turning on the telly and taking a sip out of the beer Louis had left on the table. 

"Seriously, Niall, I'd really like some time to myself for a while."

"Nope. Can't let that happen, Lou."

"What do you mean you can't let that happen?" Louis can feel his temper rising because _why can't Niall just leave him the fuck alone_.

"You really think I'm gonna leave you to mope and drink yourself into a coma?" Niall asks, raising one of his eyebrows questioningly, "And don't tell me that's not gonna happen - I know you better than that, Louis."

Louis shuts his mouth, having opened it with the intent to protest and instead goes back to scowling. 

When he realizes Niall isn’t leaving, Louis goes to join him on the bed. Niall makes room for him, and even though he's still sort of mad, Louis can't help but wrap his arms around Niall and lay his head on his chest. He sighs once Niall starts running his fingers through his hair and then tightens his embrace. 

For a while, the only sounds in the room are those of the telly. Niall continues to stroke Louis's hair and Louis thinks about how Niall's right and how without him, Louis definitely would have gone back into that dark place he did when Eleanor broke up with him. 

Things have been harder this time around because Louis's scared senseless about what would happen if Jay doesn't get better, but it's also been easier because Niall has been there for him every second since he got that phone call from Lottie. 

"You know," Niall says, breaking the silence, "you don't have to go through all this alone."

Louis responds by burying his face into Niall's chest. He breathes in the scent of fresh cotton and hotel soap and Niall's aftershave and it all feels very comforting to him. 

"I want to be here for you, Lou."

"You have been here for me," Louis responds after a short pause, "I don't know what I would've done this past week without you, Niall."

Louis finally lifts his head and looks up at Niall. He sees blue eyes filled with concern and pink lips which have been worried at with teeth. 

"Why can't you just let people in a little during times like these, Louis? You don't have to hide away all the time." 

"Because, Niall, I don't want to seem weak. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you guys, and how can I do that when I’m an utter mess?" Louis averts his eyes and once again stares at the fabric making up Niall's shirt. 

"No one asked you to protect us, Louis. Plus we can protect you too. _I_ can protect you."

Niall cups Louis's chin, lifting his face so he's forced to look up at Niall. He can't help the way his eyes are trained at Niall biting his lips. 

Louis feels like maybe this is his chance. That chance he's been waiting for to kiss Niall like he's always wanted. From the look on Niall's face, Louis feels like maybe he's thinking the same thing too.

He does it. Louis lifts his head up just a little bit more, closing the small gap between their lips. The kiss is soft and sweet and close-mouthed. The angle is sort of awkward and it's not the best kiss Louis's ever had, but, just like with most things with Niall, it just feels _right_. 

Louis sort of melts into Niall's lips and while their pressed together, he can feel all his worries wash away. It's like Niall's affection has taken this heavy load off of him, even if it is only for a second. 

Niall finally pulls away and he's looking at Louis with this bright smile on his face. Louis can't help but smile back and it's one of the first genuine smiles he's given since hearing the news about his mum.

Things aren't perfect - they might not even be okay - but they are a bit better because Louis's got Niall now in a way he didn't have him before. And yeah, maybe Niall's right and sometimes Louis just needs is to let people protect him the way he protects them.


End file.
